There's no rush to decide what to do with someone's ashes. Many families take weeks or months, and some keep them at home for years. Here are the options.
Who decides
As a rule, the person who arranged the cremation (called the applicant) decides what happens to the ashes, and collects them or says who else may. If family members disagree, try talking it through, or ask a mediator to help. That is usually kinder and far cheaper than going to court.
Collecting the ashes
The crematorium will usually return the ashes to you or your funeral director a few days after the cremation. If you'd like time to decide, they can often be kept at the crematorium for a while - ask what their policy is. If the ashes are not collected, the crematorium keeps them for a set period. How long varies, so check with the crematorium.
Keeping them at home
You can keep ashes at home in an urn or casket, indoors or in the garden. It keeps your loved one close, and they can move with you if you move house.
Scattering on land
Your own land
You can scatter ashes on land you own.
Someone else's land
Ask the landowner first. That includes places like parks, beaches, golf courses and sports grounds.
At the crematorium
Most crematoria have a garden of remembrance where ashes can be scattered or buried.
Scattering on water
You don't usually need permission to scatter ashes in a river or the sea. The Environment Agency asks people to avoid places near where drinking water is taken, near marinas or where people swim, and not to leave anything behind that won't break down - such as wreaths or plastic.
Burying the ashes
In a cemetery or churchyard
Including in an existing family grave. You'll need permission from the cemetery or church, and there's usually a fee. In England and Wales, moving buried ashes from a grave later usually needs an exhumation licence from the Ministry of Justice, so be sure before you bury. GOV.UK explains how to apply for an exhumation licence.
At a natural burial ground
Often under a tree. See Natural and woodland burial.
In your own garden
Think about whether you might move house one day.
Sharing them between family
Ashes can be divided, so different family members can keep some, or so they can be scattered in more than one place. Small keepsake urns and jewellery designed to hold a small amount of ashes are widely available. A funeral director can transfer the ashes for you if you'd rather not do it yourself.
Memorials
Many crematoria and cemeteries offer plaques, benches, trees and rose bushes. Ask what is allowed and what it costs. For a headstone or other memorial on a grave, you can find monumental masons near you, with their phone numbers. See also Arranging a memorial.
Taking ashes abroad
You'll need the certificate of cremation. Check the airline's rules before you travel, and whether the country you're going to has its own requirements.
Reviewed by the Arranging a Funeral team - November 2026.
See also Direct cremation and cemeteries and crematoria.
Common questions
How soon do we have to decide what to do with the ashes?
There's no rush. Many families take weeks or months, and some keep ashes at home for years.
Can we scatter ashes anywhere?
You can scatter them on your own land. For someone else's land, including parks, beaches and sports grounds, ask the landowner first. Most crematoria have a garden of remembrance.
Do we need permission to scatter ashes at sea or in a river?
You don't usually need permission. The Environment Agency asks people to avoid places near drinking water intakes, marinas and swimming areas, and not to leave anything that won't break down.
Can ashes be shared between family members?
Yes. Ashes can be divided, and small keepsake urns and jewellery are widely available.
Can we take ashes abroad?
Yes. You'll need the certificate of cremation. Check the airline's rules and the other country's requirements before you travel.